If you are facing burnout, it’s probably because you are not a good “intentional” decision-maker. You haven’t figured out what is important to say yes to and what it is good to say no to.
To be an intentional decision-maker, we must see that all the decisions we make are based on what we believe is good for us. But most of us have not thought through what is actually good for us. After our basic and safety needs are met, we all want to belong to some identified group, be affirmed, and do something meaningful. It’s the way we are built as humans. Because I want everyone to like me, I may not say no when I should. I think saying no will drive people away. Sometimes it will.
So, the second thing we have to know to be good intentional decision-makers is that nothing is free. There is a cost to being healthy. We must say no to some things so that we have the emotional and creative energy to say yes to other things. The healthier we are, the more valuable and helpful we can be.
The key to being a good intentional decision-maker is to avoid quickly answering every need and instead to start by thoughtfully answering the question, “What’s best for me, so I can be of value to others?” To be healthy and find sustainable belonging, affirmation, and meaning you have to start with you (the only person over which you really have control). Then you will be more likely to avoid burnout and be able to contribute your best gifts to the party.