You are good with people. People enjoy being around you and generally are willing to do what you ask. Being likable is great, and important, but it will only get you so far. To maximize your influence, you also must be willing to say what needs to be said—not just what is easy to say.
Aggressively define and manage expectations.
We all have expectations. The question is only whether they are explicitly stated or not. As the leader, you need to clearly articulate your expectations. You also need to be intentional to find out what the expectations are of those on your team or those you are serving. Doing so can save those you are stewarding—and you!—a multitude of anger and frustration. Think about anger and frustration as a result of unfulfilled expectations.
Ask questions to better understand where the other person is coming from. Seek to understand. Then you can together discuss whether the expectations are realistic or not. By explicitly stating realistic expectations, you both create a picture of what a positive future looks like. This then becomes a compass for success.
Your success is directly proportional to the number of difficult conversations you are willing to have.
This does not mean you should look for negative things to say to someone in every interaction. However, it does mean you should be willing to say hard things when the need arises, when you notice something that is getting in the way of the other person’s success.
Sometimes that means you need to correct misinformation they hold as truth. Sometimes it means pointing out a behavior or activity your client holds dear that is getting in the way of his success.
It is your responsibility to say anything that would help. There may not be anyone else willing to say those things. View them as opportunities. You must not let your own comfort or desire to be liked get in the way of saying anything that would help the one you are serving. These are marks of an effective influencer for good.