You are the person with the credentials.
You are the one with the experience.
Helping people is your passion.
So when someone comes to you with a problem, you are the expert, right?
Wrong. You are not the expert.
Your clients are the only experts at living with their problems.
When someone comes to you, they have a need they want filled. It’s their need, not yours. Their problems are not yours. The people you serve have to live with their circumstances and figure out how to make life work for them. As good as you are at solving problems, you will not live your clients’ lives, you will not walk lockstep with them through their trials, tears, and joys. Your clients are the only experts at living with their issues and needs. The sooner you realize your clients are the only experts at living their lives, the more likely you are to have a positive and effective influence on the decisions they make.
So what is your role? Because you do have information they need.
You don’t motivate, you influence.
You must change your paradigm of influence to acknowledge that your clients are the change makers, not you. Your clients won’t change, improve, or take your advice if they don’t want to. In other words, your clients are either motivated or they are not. Contrary to popular sports movies’ portrayal, you don’t create motivation in people; instead, you serve the motivation they already have. Only the motivated ones will tolerate the hardships that will inevitably come, because they want what you can help them achieve.
Your role is to influence change, not make change.
Again, your clients are the change makers, not you. As an effective influencer, you help others uncover and define what motivates them. Once you do that, you can help people get what they want. An effective influencer (aka, leader) gets others to do something they might not otherwise do on their own. But in the end, your clients are still the ones who must act in order for change to occur.
Your first job is not to give information, but to get information.
Some would argue that the greatest gift you can give someone is to listen to him or her. Build a strong foundation for effective communication by first giving your clients the opportunity to be heard. Get them to tell you their stories. Ask them how they got where they are. Ask them what they want to accomplish. By listening well, you will better understand what motivates them and how you can help them accomplish their goals.
By keeping these principles in mind, you will be able to more effectively influence those in your path for good.